Some goals are so worthy, it's glorious even to fail

From childhood I dreamed of becoming an army officer because of their uniform. As I grew older, I realized that army is not just about wearing a uniform rather it's all about serving my country. This has driven me to pursue my goal and leading me to the ISSB journey. Now, I will share my ISSB journey with you.

In this journey there are three main steps. The first step is the preliminary interview. The second step is the written exam, and finally the ISSB itself. I started to prepare myself from my college years, knowing I wanted to join the army.




                                         

After finishing HSC exam, I applied for the 90 BMA LC. I felt both nervous and excited at the same time. In my first attempt, I was rejected in the preliminary interview. It was a very hard time for me but I didn't give up. I waited for the next opportunity and applied for the 91 BMA LC. This time, I passed the preliminary interview. The next step is written exam. Then I started to work hard for the written exam and I passed the exam. With two steps behind me, I turned my focus to the final challenge: the ISSB. After passing the written test, I knew I had to work even harder. I got admitted to a coaching center for preparing myself and improving my physical fitness.

After a few days, I received my ISSB call-up letter. The ISSB (Inter Services Selection Board) holds a four-day exam where candidates stay at the ISSB center. The first day, in the morning, there were two exams and those were: the IQ test and the PPDT (Picture Perception and Discussion Test). After passing both test, a candidate can continue for all four days. Otherwise, they are screened out. Unfortunately, I failed the PPDT test on my first day and had to return home. While returning home, I realize the actual pain of failure for the first time in my life.

However, I didn't lose hope. I waited for the next circular for the 92 BMA LC, and this time I passed the preliminary interview, the written exam, and the ISSB screening test. And this time, I was finally able to stay for all four days.

During these four days, I had completeed many tests, including psychological test, self-assessments, and physical tasks etc. One of the best parts of ISSB is the DP viva. It was the best interview of my life. After the four days, the moment of truth arrived: the results. I was extremely nervous as I entered the deputy president's room. When he handed me the card envelope, my heart raced. It was a red card. At that moment, I felt completely empty. But then he told me, “I want you to come again if you want to.” With that red card in my hand, I returned home.

 Despite all of these failures, I applied for the 93 BMA LC, my last and final attempt. I passed all the steps again and received another call up letter for the ISSB. But sadly, I failed once again.



During this journey, I made many friends and enjoyed a lot of moments at the ISSB center. This journey has been challenging for me but I have learned so much thing about myself. Some of my friends are now officer cadets in the Bangladesh Army and I feel very proud of them. This experience has taught me a lot of things about life. But at the end of the day, there is still a feeling of failure in my heart. Despite that, I am committed to serving my country, no matter where I am or what I do. In the end, I believe that "Some goals are so worthy, it's glorious even to fail."

In this 2.5 years journey, the most painful thing for me was the tears in my mother’s eyes. 

Sorry ma.

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